i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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