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Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
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