I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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