Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
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