i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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