It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize