Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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