and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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