this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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