The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize