he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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