The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize