so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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