How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
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i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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