oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Randomize