apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize