This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize