I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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