for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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