The maid of honor just puked.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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