just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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