you would pick up someone in the library
im holly from the hills drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize