honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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