I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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