Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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