i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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