So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize