My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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