sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize