There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize