i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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