His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Two words: nipple clamps
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