Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize