so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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