pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize