To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
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Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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