Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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