Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and you said cock pushups were impossible
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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