If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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