just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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