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just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
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