apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
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she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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