I just made out with a guy for $7.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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