everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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