The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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