My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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