also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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