I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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