Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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