I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize